What Are We Teaching Our Kids?

I read an amazing blog post yesterday called “Parents Are We Raising Praise Junkies?” .  It was written by Susie Kline, whose blog “Motherhoot” is one of my faves and I read it every day. (Here’s a plug… so go and check it out.)

I had been thinking the exact thoughts she was for a really long time now.  Are we raising a generation of kids who think they can do no wrong?  Who think that everyone is a winner?  Who don’t understand that hard work really does pay off?  I’m kind of thinking that we are.

My nephew plays sports.  He is 7.  After every game, we ask his parents how the team did.  Did they win?  The answer I get back is usually, “There are no winners or losers, we play for fun and everyone wins.”  Are you serious?  What kind of crap is that?

Part of being on a team means you learn to work together to come out on top.  The very purpose of being on a sports team is to win the game.  And… the most important thing about playing is also learning that if you lose, you have to try and work harder next time.  At the end of the season every kid gets a trophy.  Really?  What is that telling our kids?  It’s telling them that they don’t have to work extra hard because they will receive a trophy no matter what they do.  So then… the kid that works hard and practices with his Dad every weekend to hit the ball and hits home runs every game is going to get the same trophy and rewards as the kid who stands out there in the field and watches the birds fly by and never runs his bases or practices his pitching?  Wow.  That kid is going to be in for a rude awakening when he goes to try out for his high school’s baseball team and is told he sucks!  But Dad… you said I was doing great and I even got a trophy.  Oh well… what are you gonna tell your kid then?

I wonder also about our school system and their grading requirements.  In our school, no child is ever left back.  Ever.  Why?  Because our school doesn’t get funding for kids who are held back.  How interesting… our school thinks it is more important to get money than to educate our kids.  So basically, my child who studies and works her butt off to get good grades and do her assignments on time is going to graduate exactly the same as the kid who misses assignments and barely scrapes by with a D.  How does this make sense?  By the time the kids are in high school, those grades will certainly count for something… but only if the child intends to go on to college.  By the time that 3rd grader reaches high school with a history of D’s to his name, it will be too late to relearn all those bad habits.  If every teacher he had passed him through school up until now, what makes him think he needs to work hard when he knows it will continue?

I believe our society as a whole is failing our kids by NOT teaching them that life isn’t fair.  We don’t always win the game or get the good grades.  If we want to succeed, we need to work at it.  Handing a child a free pass is not doing them any good.  And it won’t do our country any good in the long run either.