To The Parents of 6th Graders

You all know that I do way too much, right? I’m on the PFO, go to monthly PAC (Parent Action Committee) meetings at the school district and sit on the Site Council (make decisions about our individual school location). I do it because I genuinely care about what is happening in education these days and I’m of the philosophy that you have no business complaining unless you plan to be part of the solution.

So, this morning was our monthly PAC meeting. While we discussed the lack of funds (what else is new?) and the fact that all of the buildings in the district need some serious maintenance (what a surprise!), we also had a discussion about bridging the gap between 6th grade elementary school and 7th grade junior high. In many locations in the U.S., 6th grade IS the start of junior high. In my district, 6th grade is still part of the elementary school. Several parents felt that the elementary schools weren’t doing enough to make that transition smoother for the kids. The issue was that at the elementary level, kids were put into specific groups, told where to sit for lunch, how to behave, what they could or couldn’t do while at recess, had to walk in a straight line, etc. This philosophy wasn’t serving our kids who would then go on to junior high where they would have to walk across campus from one class to another, were able to sit wherever they wanted at lunch and could use cell phones or pretty much anything they wanted in between classes. It wasn’t the “academic” aspects that were the problem… it was the “social” aspects of suddenly being free to make your own decisions that parents had an issue with. Well, only some of the parents.

The question was, “What can the schools do to prepare the kids for the social difference in attending junior high?” For instance, maybe we can let them sit where they want at lunch (our school does, but most don’t), maybe we can give them a little more freedom in choosing where they go during recess, what they play, allow them to go from class to class on their own, without having to be in a straight line. Little things that encourage them to think for themselves. What a concept!

The other Principals in the room were quick to jump on the “safety” bandwagon. If they allowed the kids to just wander around, they wouldn’t have any control over them. They wouldn’t be able to reach them in case of an emergency. They wouldn’t be able to make sure they followed every single rule and walked in a straight line and kept quiet and were obedient little minions. Oh wait! That was MY silly thought process.

Do I think the elementary school should lighten up on the 6th graders and prepare them a little better for ALL the aspects of junior high? Yes. Do I think it’s the parents responsibility for preparing them? Absolutely! Do the majority of parents actually do any kind of job to prepare them? Nope. Not at all.

I know I’ll probably get some flack for this, but honestly… do you really NEED to walk your 11 or 12 year old child into the school in the morning? I realize that bad things can happen just about anywhere (we’ve all learned that), but what are we teaching our kids if we wake them up every morning, lay out their clothes, pack their lunches, make their breakfasts, drive them to school, park, get out of the car, walk them to the classroom (or front gate in our school)? We are teaching them that they aren’t responsible enough to do it themselves. We don’t trust them. We aren’t teaching them how to take care of themselves. If parents aren’t taking the steps to prepare their own kids, why on earth are we expecting the schools to do it for us?

I think many parents are going to be in for a shock when they hit junior high. You will NOT be allowed to walk your kids to class. You will NOT be allowed to help out in the classroom. The teachers will NOT want you emailing them to explain that your child couldn’t do their homework last night because you had a family event to attend.

Your kids are growing up and as much as you might not like it… it is your job as a parent to help them do it! So do it. Use this opportunity while they are still in elementary school to give them a little more wiggle room. Let them make their own decisions. Let them choose their own friends. Let them slip up, make mistakes. Now is the time to let them do it… and use it as a teachable moment. Once they get to junior high… it’s out of your hands.

And schools? You need to lighten up too. The kids in junior high and high school are just as safe as your kids in elementary school. If they don’t walk in a straight line, is hell going to really freeze over? Is there going to be such mass confusion that you are going to actually lose children? If kids can choose where to sit during lunch (and with whom) is life as we know it going to cease to exist? Or maybe, must maybe, they will have a little more fun at lunch. Maybe they will learn to make new friends. Maybe they will learn that it’s okay to eat alone once in a while. And maybe they will learn that not everything in life is fair. Oh wait! We’re all getting a trophy, right?

We’re not raising kids. We’re raising adults! Think about that.