Panda Mom

A few weeks ago my husband’s Uncle said he had a book for me.  Periodically he passes along books to me that he thinks I would be interested in.  When it comes to parenting books, however, I am always a little suspicious.  For an older, single man who has never had his own children, to give a mother of three a parenting book…. it basically screams “You aren’t doing it like you are supposed to so here is some help.”  Makes me cringe a little.  So when he wanted to give the book, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, by Amy Chua, I said, thanks but no thanks.

Then, my husband brought the subject up again a few days ago.  We were driving in the car and he casually mentioned that there was a new book I should read… Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother.  I stopped him in his tracks.  I told him thanks but no thanks, I would NOT be reading this book.  I feel like through all the other blogs and news articles I’ve read about this book, I knew the content quite well.  This was NOT the way I parent, nor did I have any interest in parenting this way.

Rule #1 of Parenting: You don’t try and tell a Mother how to parent better!  Ever!  Especially if you want to live!

The controversy surrounding “Tiger Mother” still abounds throughout the blogosphere.  Interestingly enough, the more people I talk to about this, the more people I find completely disagree with her parenting methods.  Yes, we all want our children to succeed and be the best they can be.  We just feel that we can obtain the same goals with a less-strict approach.

I was watching the Today Show this morning and saw a segment with Alan Paul, the self-named “Panda Dad”.  His philosophy is to teach kids to take responsibility for themselves and learn to be independent.  YES YES YES…. this is how I am parenting!  Finally, someone that makes sense.

My girls are nothing if not independent.  They are growing up knowing that they are smart, beautiful, competent and can accomplish anything they want.  But… they are going to accomplish all this by themselves.  They tell me what they are interested in.  They tell me what after school classes they want to take.  If they don’t practice their guitar (Amanda) then oh well… I guess she doesn’t want to learn badly enough.  I don’t push.  I nudge.  I am a Panda Mom.

My kids will not have to run to me for approval every step they take.  My kids will not have to get my permission to take a class, a job or a vacation.  They will be able to think for themselves and make smart choices.  I’ve taught them how to do this by giving them a say in what they do.  I remind them they need to study for a test… I don’t demand it.

I am of the belief that kids need freedom.  They need to play, to read, to use their imagination.  If you give a child a chance to dream, they will have a goal to reach for.  No child wants a parent who hovers over them and chooses their classes, friends, books and movies.  Can you say, rebel?  If you show your children how to make good choices, they will grow up making good choices.