I’m in that “other” age bracket. You know, the one that doesn’t read 35 - 45. I’ve been in the “other” bracket, the one that reads 45 - 55, for 2 years now. It’s not a fun place to be. I’m not young anymore. But I’m not exactly old either. I’m at the in-between stage where nobody really knows where to place you. What makes this entire process more infuriating is the fact that I married and had children late. Well, if you count having kids at 34, 36 and 38 late. I still have children in elementary school, while many of my friends are sending their kids off to college.
I’m 47 years old. The only feminine products I’ve bought have been for my daughter, I’m feeling hot 24/7 (no “flashes” for me) and I’ve gained about 10 pounds while not eating any differently than I have for the past year. To say this sucks would be a disservice to all those millions of women who are in the same boat. But… it sucks!
Just like nobody ever talked about what your body would be like after childbirth, and nobody ever talked about how you would be up all night with a screaming baby, and nobody ever talked about how friggin’ hard marriage is sometimes… nobody talks about menopause. Why? Maybe for the same reason that when we are 10 years old, we have no interest in hearing about menstruation. It’s icky, it’s embarrassing and while we know it’s inevitable, we are still clinging to the hope that we’ll be the only one who will skate through it unscathed.
Hotness Is My Middle Name
I spent most of my life feeling cold. I was the one who wore sweaters in the summer. I always had something to put on in movie theaters and restaurants. I could never sleep without a big blanket covering me. Now… I am hot sitting in front of the air conditioner. I can’t sleep unless I have the fan going full blast above me. Sheets and blankets? Who needs them? Several times a day I find myself asking, “Is it hot in here?” The answer I get is always, “No, it’s just you.” Not very comforting.
Someone tell me why they call them “hot flashes” please? Nothing is flashing for me… I’m always hot. I thought I might get a sudden burst of heat every now and then. Nope… hotness is my new middle name. And not in the good way. Here’s the news, ladies… you might get a flash here and there, you might not feel anything, but if you are like me… you will be hot ALL THE TIME. Thinking about moving to Alaska.
No, I’m Not Pregnant
So here is the 411 on your metabolism. It basically stops. Dead cold. Nothing. Nada. Finito! I’ve been pretty proud of myself the past year. I’ve gotten my weight down to where I’m remotely happy with it. Not the thinnest I’d like to be, but something I can live with. I eat normally, just smaller portions and I try to avoid a lot of bread and sweets. In the past 2 months, I’ve gained 10 pounds. WHAT??????
My clothes don’t fit, I feel sluggish and I don’t recognize myself anymore. I go to try on clothes and I’m a size or two bigger than I’ve been in years. Not happy. To add insult to injury, the other day my daughter patted my stomach and said, “Are you pregnant?” WTF? Are you kidding me? I know I’ve gained weight, but why on earth does it all have to go to my middle? NOW I get why older women kind of have that pooch going on. It all goes there. Now I am that older woman. (Insert sad face here.)
I’m Not Bitchy, I’m Honest
So there actually is a kind of reward for getting older. While your hormones are all out of whack, it kind of makes you a little bitchy. But not bad bitchy… good bitchy. Is there such a thing? I think so. I have no time, energy, compulsion to be nice anymore. I tell it like it is. When you get to a certain age, you have earned the right to be honest with people. I’m not talking being downright mean… I’m talking telling people the truth. If you ask me if I like that dress on you and I don’t… sorry, honey, I’m gonna tell you it’s hideous, go change.
Lying takes too much energy, and my energy levels are so low right now I just can’t.
Angeline says
Just thought I’d chime in here 🙂 I’m also 47 and have the exact symptoms you do! Hot 24/7 and my latest….thinning hair….this is not fun! I feel a little better reading that I’m not alone in this 🙂 Thanks.
I think the first thing to blow when we reach a certain age is our bullshit tolerance level. it drops to way, way lower than it’s ever been in our lives. As you say, if someone asks if we like that dress on them, and we DON’T, we’re gonna tell it like it is. If I want something, am I going to pussyfoot around and hint sweetly for it? Like a certain beautiful lady said, “Ain’t nobody got time for that!” I will straight up ask for what I want, I will make choices based on what I want and not on a poll of my twenty closest friends.
it’s kinda fun.
I hear you! I have been feeling pretty yucky lately, hot, head-achy, sluggish, irritable, dizzy - you get the idea. If I mention to someone that I am experiencing perimenopausal symptoms, I either get the denial mentality - “Oh no, dear, you are much too young for that!” or the super sad expression as if I just announced that my life is over! I feel somewhere in the middle. I am ready to embrace this stage in my life. But I am not taking it lying down!
We are NOT too young. We might be on the beginning side of the spectrum, but it happens more often than we are led to believe.
Anne @GenFabulous says
Love it and tweeting out! Thanks to Gigi for connecting us.
Thanks so much, Anne.
This could be my life, except for the hotness. The weight gain, most def. And I’m 42.
Everybody is different and I’ve heard of people having symptoms in their late 30’s as well.
I talk about menopause all the time. Just ask the staff at Highlands. And yes it does suck. And it changes over time. If you’d like to have a discussion just ask anytime I’ve been dealing with this for years.
Saw your tweet and had to stop by. I’m also 47 and although I’m a pear shape, I’ve noticed a weight gain in my middle .. great. I’m on bio-identical hormones, but it has been so hard to get the right balance that I’m almost at the point of saying screw it .. just give me Premarin.
Thanks for posting .. I’m so glad I’m not alone!
Monica.
oops, actually was tweeted by Melissa .. !!
Monica.
I turned 50 this month — and it was hard leading up to it but I’m much better mentally on the other side. I agree with everything. I always took a sweater with me even in July. Now I feel myself getting hot while I type this. Things that used to melt weight off in a few days — do nothing. And the thing that surprised me most was feeling depressed. That for me is helped by HT. Ugh; I’m making peace with it but I don’t like it.
There are a couple of other dwarfs hiding out there too; there’s Slouchy (every time I see a woman “of a certain age” who’s slouching, I about give myself whiplash straightening up. Then there’s Baldy; and the hair is falling out everywhere! My already too-thin eyebrows are all but gone now.
I vaguely remember an Oprah episode a couple of years ago; and even she said-“How come no one told us about all this!?”
I get the hot flashes. They’re not fun. When they first started happening, I felt awful-really nauseous and felt like I was about to pass out. Now they’re more subdued. Uncomfortable, but more bearable. i can’t sleep at night either. I get sweaty, so I throw the covers off. Then I get cold, so I have to put the blanket back on. It keeps doing this throughout the night. Miserable!
Whoo hoo! This is my age group and several of those dwarves have made their way to my house….I also got a visit from their cousin, Veiny. All of a sudden my skin is thinning and I see veins where I did not used to. WTF? At least I am not alone 🙂
I knew I was in good company. 🙂