I Win at Parenting

Go ahead and get my medal ready… I’m claiming Mother of the Year status.

You all know I have three daughters - two of them teenagers. Go ahead, give me the sympathy sigh… the one where you feel sorry for me because having teenagers (especially daughters) is the worst thing in the world. Teenage girls are trouble, right? They have attitude, roll their eyes, talk back, slam doors, and think their mothers are the worst people on the planet.

Okay… you’re probably mostly right. Except I happen to really like my kids. No, really… it’s true. My girls have their moments, but one of them came home from school today really upset. She wasn’t happy with a teacher, felt she was being unfair, and my daughter projected into the future and decided that this one teacher was going to ruin her entire academic life… and that, in turn, would ruin her future career plans. Okay, so the drama took over. But what came next was something special.

I could have ignored her. I could have told her that she was being ridiculous. I could have said that tomorrow would be better. I didn’t do any of those things.

We came home after school and she went right to her bed. (Because bed it the ONLY place to be when you are feeling hurt or sad.) And then I followed her right into that bed, told her I understood, and held her tight. I let her cry. I let her tell me everything she was feeling. Because I was there for her, she unloaded it all on me.

I let her finish and then I shared a story. I told her how I never really liked school and I had plenty of teachers that weren’t great. I also told her that I had plenty of teachers that were… and so did she. We talked about how great she was doing in all her other classes. About how she had friends and made honor roll. That this one class didn’t define her or define what she would be in the future. We talked about her career path and what that may look like. We talked about the fact that grades were only a part of who we were… they didn’t define us as good or bad people. In fact, this one particular class wasn’t going to hold her back from the classes she wanted to take in the future… or the direction she wanted to go in. I said some things that made her feel better… and I made her laugh.

Then she hugged me and said, “You’re the best Mom in the world. You always make me feel better.”

And then I said, “That’s what I do… I’m a Mom.”

Sure, my girls have the same teenage issues as anyone… but our reactions to those issues separate the “You’re the best Mom in the world.” from “You’re the worst Mom in the world.“

So today I win at parenting. Tomorrow I might fail. It’s called living with teenagers.