And It All Went South

Yesterday, I wrote all about what an awesome Mom I am. It figures that as soon as I put it out there, my kids decide that they are going to prove me wrong.

I spent yesterday fielding comments and accolades about my blog post in the middle of a complete breakdown over the fact that my kids were completely out of control. I felt like a fraud.

My two youngest fight. All the time. Not an hour goes by without them yelling at each other over some stupid thing or another. They argue over stickers, over TV shows, over cleaning their rooms. They argue over Barbie Dolls, scooters and who get to swing first. It gets to the point where I just can’t stand the fighting anymore. Then comes the punishment.

I’ve tried it all: naughty chair, grounding, taking things away from them. Nothing works. My girls have built up an immunity to punishment. I knew I needed something more extreme, something that would get them right at the core of their being. My husband actually came up with the solution: banishment.

We figured the only way for our children to realize we mean business is to send them away. Okay, I know it sounds extreme, but extreme situations call for extreme measures. If the kids were going to make the decision to not listen to us, it meant that they had no respect for our parenting, and no respect for us means they have no place living under our roof. I made them pack their bags.

Oh sure, Mom is having us pack our bags again. Up until now we’ve threatened. A lot. So they packed their bags and rolled their eyes as if saying, “Okay, Mom, you’re sending us away… sure, sure.” Only this time… it was happening.

I told them it was all arranged. They were going to go stay with their grandfather. Indefinitely. It was open-ended and if their behavior didn’t change, I would follow the suitcases with boxes of their things that would be delivered within the next few days. I meant business. They got scared.

So the bags were packed and waiting in the hallway. Grandpa would be here in a few hours and they would be leaving my house. I allowed them one book and one toy each. ‘Cause that’s just the kind of Mom I am.

And then the call came.

Grandpa wouldn’t be able to watch the kids. WHAT? He had plans. WHAT? He could take them the day after. WHAT?

I had just told my kids they were leaving. They were packed. Now I was going to look like a liar. They would never believe me again. Damn it!

I kept them waiting for a few hours and then I couldn’t wait any longer. I had to tell them.

I explained that Grandpa had plans and wouldn’t be able to watch them right away, but they were to keep their bags packed by the door and if their behavior was still bad after another day, we would drive them over ourselves.

Truth be told… I didn’t really wanted them to go. I just wanted them to get along and start listening to me.

Now they would never trust me again. I played all my cards and I lost. I hate losing.

The bags are still sitting by the door… ready to go at a moment’s notice. But last night… last night we read together… and hugged each other… and told each other we loved each other.

At the end of the day, I still had my kids sleeping in their own beds. As it should be.