It struck me today… how difficult this working Mom thing is. Of course, I always knew it was difficult, but it came to a head today when I had a very important meeting to attend in Burbank (about 40 minutes away from home) and I had a sick child.
She didn’t feel well in the morning when she woke up; she complained of a tummy ache and head ache. Hey, it’s happened before… we all hate mornings and don’t exactly feel our best. I knew I had this meeting and I really couldn’t cancel or reschedule, so I did what so many mothers do in these situations… packed my kid off to school with the stipulation, “Give it an hour and if you feel better stick it out. If you don’t feel well, call me and I can pick you up before I have to leave for my meeting.” I had no idea what I would do if she actually called me and I had to go get her from school. I didn’t have anyone home during the day to watch her. But I figured I’d cross that bridge when I came to it. Luckily, by the time I left my house at 10am, I hadn’t gotten a call from school. Phew… dodged a bullet. But not really.
A few hours later I was in the middle of a meeting. The client was late and we did way too much chit-chatting before actually getting down to business. By the time we started talking shop, I was already running a little late on the pick-up. I figured my neighbor would get the girls and if need be hang on to them until I got back. But… things don’t always work out that easily.
For some reason I left my cell phone on. I usually turn it on silent in meetings, but I forgot. Good thing, because the school was calling to tell me they had Lauryn in the office… with a slight fever. Ugh! Her timing was horrible. I explained that I was in Burbank and nobody else could pick her up. I’d try to make it back as soon as possible. The nurse told me not to worry, they would just keep her in the office until I got there. They couldn’t send her back to class because of the fever.
We were just getting to the heart of the meeting… discussing $$$$ and I kind of HAD to be there. We rushed through, me doing more worrying than listening, and then I finally had to just say, “I gotta go pick up my sick kid.” And I ran out of there, hopped in my car and sped away.
Yes, I drove too fast. That’s what Moms do when they have to get to their sick kid.
I actually made it to school just as they were all being dismissed. I raced into the office to find my sweet little girl lying on a cot, so small and weak. My poor baby. Not feeling well at all.
Relief flooded over me that I actually made it right on time to get her… but guilt and grief over not being there an hour earlier when she needed me most washed over me like a tsunami.
THIS is what sucks about parenting as a working mom. 9 days out of 10 I’m home or within a few miles of the school. It’s the ONE time I venture out of the city limits that my child needs me most.
And all I want to do is take the hurt and pain away. And all I can do is close the computer and snuggle with my baby and tell her that mommy loves her.
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Today has been that day for us too. Pumpkin and I have been sick, but she was just getting better. Then starting at 1pm I start getting texts that pumpkin has a fever, she’s not eating. So I don’t pump or run errands and run back from my job to get her. Now she’s hysterically crying and I have a call into the nurse to see what we should do. I feel like she’s sick all the time and I’m always having to help.
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Ugh! Poor thing. It’s is just so frustrating that we can’t clone ourselves and be in more than one place at one time. Hope she feels better soon.
As a single mom with zero family in the area, I get it. It never fails the one time, I need, must, have the time to work, my kid needs me, really needs me. Every day I juggle my needs (to work so we can eat and have a home) with hers and it’s so hard to decide whose needs matter more in that moment.
You are an amazing mom, that is what matters. Your kids know you love them but what they also see is real life and that it’s not always so black and white and that is what life is all about is choices. Hope she feels better quickly. xo
I really feel for you… and all the single Moms out there. I know we are very fortunate to be able to work from home, but there are still times when the work v. family dilemma rears it’s ugly head.
I feel ya! After I had my first child and returned to work - an almost 2 hour commute!! - and got that “your child is sick, come get them” call; it was a a Huge factor in deciding to not return to work. I still didn’t make it to the school on time once though because I was in the middle of the grocery store with a full cart —- and my eldest (boy) decided to attempt his first projectile vomit all over the work table he shared with 4 other kids.
I still apologize to that teacher 5 years later.
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I knew I wanted to stay home with my kids when I was pregnant with my first one, but after trying several different times to work from home, I thought now that they were a little older (14, 11, 9) it would be different. Nope. They still need me around as much as ever.