Holding On and Letting Go

I remember so vividly being in 6th grade. Our elementary school was right across the street from the high school and while we were still in class, we would look out our window and watch the teenagers cross through our school on their way home. My first thought was always, “I will never be that old.”

I couldn’t imagine (at 11) that I would ever be old enough to go to high school. It seemed like something so far in the future. As an adult, I am well aware at how fast time goes by. As we get older, the days, weeks, months and years disappear behind us and we’re left wondering where they went. Sometimes it scares me.

This week it scared me but good.

I have a stack of papers on my desk that I will be turning into my daughter’s school tomorrow. They are Junior High registration forms.

Where did it go?

She was a baby, a toddler, a little girl. The days, the months, the years have been full of babies and sleepless nights and travels and school and growing up. Too fast.

We have just a few more months of her being little. Once she walks out of 6th grade for the last time, there is no turning back. In August, she will be going to a new school, with new kids. She will have new challenges and new pressures. I’m trying to hold on to my 12 year old daughter for as long as possible. Next January she will be a teenager. The thought makes me cry every time.

I’m not ready to let her go.

Now is the time when all we’ve done as parents hits us head on. We’ve taught her right from wrong. We taught her please and thank you. We’ve taught her to study hard, be kind and play nice with others. At 12, she is who she is and will always be. We’ve done everything we could and now it’s time to sit back and let her shine.

I know I haven’t been the best parent. But I’ve been the best parent I can be. And as I look at those papers sitting on my desk, my thought is of my beautiful little girl… shining bright.