There is a woman I know. Not very well, but well enough. I see her on my Facebook feed and my twitter stream talking about this and that, mostly positive things. I’ve met her in person. She’s super sweet. But she bugs the hell out of me.
In between the mostly positive comments, she imparts her two cents about a lot of things. A lot of things that have me rethinking following her. But the truth is, it isn’t just her. Lately, many women (and men) I know have been dissing ME in their comments and posts. They don’t know my politics, how I choose to raise my kids or what my morals and ethics really are. But what they say hurts… and it’s mean. They are bullies.
We all jump up and cheer when we hear anti-bullying language. It’s not right to talk about race and sex and religion and weight. Apparently, however, it’s still okay to talk about political affiliations and parenting practices and what restaurants we choose to go to. It has occurred to me that the very people who tout marriage equality (which I’m for, by the way) are the same people who will, in the next sentence, talk about how you are a bad parent if you give your kid a Happy Meal. Say what?
If you feel that everyone should be treated equally and that it’s bad to shame overweight people, then what gives you the right to criticize how I parent, what I cook (or don’t cook) for dinner and how I vote?
The beauty of our country is that we are FREE to live our lives the way we want. As long as we don’t hurt anyone. But that’s exactly what people are doing… hurting their friends, their family, their neighbors. Why can’t we just believe what we’d like to believe? Why do we have to conform to YOUR ideas? Why are MY ideas wrong, just because YOU don’t like them?
I have never come out and said that anyone is “doing it wrong.” It might not be how I do things, but I’m pretty sure most of you would think I’m the one doing it wrong. Too bad. That’s my choice. You have yours.
Maybe we can all think a little bit more when we go on social media and say something is BAD, or people who believe differently than you do are crazy or stupid or just plain wrong. They think they are as right as you think you are. I’m tired of it. Want to express your feelings about how YOU like or do something? Great. But don’t put down people for believing otherwise. It’s crazy, and stupid, and wrong.
{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }
I really want a Happy Meal now.
Melissa “Miz Meliz” Reyes recently posted..My Rockin’ Style Choice, A Poem by Melissa Reyes
Ha ha ha, right?
That is sad, I strongly believe that being part of this world is all about respect and boundaries. Maybe it’s because I was victim of bullying for 4 years that I can complete relate to your feelings, but I strongly believe that people that are quick to judge are the ones that are hurting inside because just maybe they are the ones doing the same thing or maybe they have nothing to do. I’m so sorry you have been going through this and hope that it stops soon.
It’s really not anything specific to me… I just hate seeing comments all the time bashing people for believing differently. I know tons of people who believe differently than I do on certain topics and I would NEVER make a blanket statement that says they are all stupid or wrong.
I need a “high five” icon here!
I have a very longterm friend who uses Facebook like this. I call it her Bully Pulpit. She’s gone on FB SO many times to say “Parents, DON’T let your kids read Harry Potter!!!” and “Don’t let your kids play video games, they’ll end up stabbing someone in high school!” that I had to unsub from her. I’m not sure if my favorite was the day that she said “I’d NEVER leave my house in my slippers. I’m not white trash.” Like a week after I posted that I’d gone to get gas and looked down and realized I still had on my Memory Foam slipper moccasins. OR there was the time she said “I do not understand why woman love to get to school in the line and park so badly and then LEAVE THEIR CAR to talk while waiting. I mean, who does this??” and then went on to talk about the bible study she was hosting. Wow. Or there’s my friend who is a staunch Democrat but puts up things like “I hate Republicans with every fiber of my being! If you’re not Democrat, you’re WRONG” and then wonders why no one but those few other hate-spewing nasties who want to bash everyone with a different opinion don’t post to her page. (I do not talk politics on FB…I just hate it when any person bashes any other person for feeling differently.) I love social media, but FB can really burn you out sometimes! I wrote about this a few weeks ago, if you’re interested: http://dangerouscupcakedesigns.com/parenting-double-standards-social-media/ Hot topic for me!
Dee recently posted..But where are the cupcakes??
Well, obviously you know exactly how I feel. This is my point… we ALL do things that other people might not approve of.
this is why I rarely put up anything political on my status update b/c it never fails that someone who disagrees with me has to keep at me until she thinks I will come to see her(read; correct) point of view.
Yep… I stay far away from most things. If I do give my opinion, I certainly don’t expect to get comments back letting me know I’m wrong.
Respect the way others live, the choices they make. We may not agree but it doesnt mean we need to let the world know we disagree.
You know youre doing great with the way youre raising ypur children. Just look at them =)
Its really that simple. The ones that respect others and lide choices are the ones that have a wealth of friends behind them. Xoxo
Jamie recently posted..Vote for your favorite Yogurtland Flavor! #ad
Yes, Carolyn, thank you.
Thumper said it best: “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all.”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I71cY9Ysy5U
Usually I say the stupid people exist to amuse me from time to time but often they just piss me off.
I wish people knew when to keep their mouths quiet. Facebook is good because you can just mute them from your feed or unfollow them, it’s the family and friends that you sometimes wish would quit when they’re ahead (or more likely when they’re not and just look idiotic).
I’m sorry that more people don’t live by the adage, “live and let live” and “give me your opinion when I ask for it” but they don’t and man, I wish they did.
Seriously, you seem to be doing a very fine job of parenting to me. Screw the haters.
Melissa Burton recently posted..A Red Carpet Affair - CBGB the Movie
It’s the social media monster. If you put it out there, people will comment on it and they won’t hold back. So you have to put blinders on and move on. Or un-friend them if they are truly obnoxious.
Monica.
Monica P recently posted..Beauty Haul: Maybelline quad, Fergie palette, and Meaningful Beauty Introductory System
I take my comment back about putting blinders on. I was just on a fellow bloggers site (another pear shaped gal) and she has on a lovely floral dress. A commenter ripped into her about her floral dress and how she should wear solid pencil skirt and suck it up like the rest of us. I read the comment with my mouth open thinking who the hell is is dumb woman!?! The blogger gave a gracious reply (not that this woman deserved it!) Anyway, if someone is making you feel bad .. dump ‘em.
Monica.
Monica P recently posted..Button cardigan and the drape neckline top