Someone once asked me if I had ever re-invented myself. I don’t think I ever re-invented as much as transformed myself. I think we all go through periods in our life when we transition from one thing to another: lifestyles change, family changes, jobs and positions change. We might not change who we are, but we do transition into another stage of our lives.
Having children was a huge transformation, as it is for just about every mother on the planet. Becoming solely responsible for another human being changes you in ways that are almost indescribable. You spend 20 or 30 years thinking about what is best for yourself and making decisions based on your wants and needs and then suddenly you are transformed into a caregiver. You are now making decisions not based on what is best for you, but based on what is best for another person. That’s pretty heavy.
I stopped working full time when my first daughter was born. After working and earning a living for 10 years I was suddenly stuck at home with a screaming, crying infant. Yes, I said “stuck” because honestly that is what it felt like. I went from lunches with co-workers to nursing a baby every 2 hours. It changed me. Becoming a Mom was huge and it propels you forward in your life like nothing else can.
I look at my family now (12 years later) and I find I am transforming once again. My daughters (now 3 of them) are all in school full time. I was fortunate that I was able to be a stay-at-home-mom all these years but I find myself alone in a quiet house 5 hours a day and wonder what my next transformation will be. I blog, I write, I am working on my house, but I feel the need to do more. I feel like there is something right around the corner… the next stage of my life. It’s pretty exciting… and just as scary. Exciting because I’m ready for a change… scary because I don’t what that change will be.
It’s nice, but sometimes overwhelming to have options, right? But mix of excitement and concern that you feel? That’s how I feel about picking colors for my walls! I think redecorating, like choosing a new hairstyle, often indicates changes that have taken place behind the scenes.
Oh it absolutely is an indication of changes behind the scenes. I usually end up redecorating my house every time I go through a transition – it’s the decorator in me. Change inside = change outside.
The possibilities are endless! Stay positive.
I think that’s the problem… too many options. Give me A or B and I can choose, give me the entire alphabet and I’m frozen like a deer in headlights.