Did You Show Up Today?

I’m the mom of three daughters who run in completely different circles. My oldest is a senior and heading to college next year. My middle child is immersed in her love of robotics and competes nationally. My youngest just started junior high and is in the process of discovering what really makes her happy. I parent them all the same… and different. It depends on the day and time and need.

I have friends who have one child. I have friends who have 7 children. I have friends who work full-time and ones who are stay-at-home moms and ones who are somewhere in between. Amongst all our kids, there are some who are honor scholars and some who are failing. Some play sports, others read books. Some are addicted to the internet and others just want to watch TV all day. Some succeed. Some struggle.

And with all these differences, it’s hard to always be the parent they need. Sometimes it’s damn near impossible. It’s exhausting… and frustrating… and disappointing. And we don’t have time for ourselves or for our husbands. And we feel like we’re failing. Hugely failing.

And we look at each other and think the grass is greener over there. And in our hearts we know it really isn’t. But something has to be better than this.

And at the end of the day, when we climb into bed, even though some of us know we’ll be hopping back out when the baby cries in about 10 minutes, we wonder if we are totally screwing them up. We all think it. The ones who have just had their first babies and the ones that have already sent their babies off to college.

We didn’t do enough.

We didn’t care enough.

We didn’t love enough.

We didn’t read enough.

We didn’t play enough.

We didn’t cook enough.

We didn’t clean enough.

We didn’t hug enough.

We didn’t travel enough.

We didn’t DO enough.

But what did we do? We showed up. Ever day. Every damn day.

We got out of bed.

We managed to kiss the boo-boos.

We filled out the paperwork.

We got them to school. And home again.

We kept them fed.

We kept them clothed.

We took care of them when they were sick.

Did we DO enough? It doesn’t matter. No parent will ever think they did enough. The fact is… we showed up. We showed up when it was important. And our kids saw that. And sometimes it doesn’t matter how well we did. It just matters that we did.